Funk Only a Mother Could Love

God love the James Gang. They only made a few albums, a great number of their songs sound so identical that they are nearly impossible to tell apart, and to beat it all, they were nominated to mine and Lucille’s list of the ugliest bands we’ve ever laid eyes on. Since there’s only three of them, they come in behind Atlanta Rhythm Section, so at least they have that.

On the plus side… they have Joe Walsh. What more did they need, as evidenced by the extreme sucking power of, oh, everything they did after he left?

I realize I may be in the minority with my love for Joe Walsh, but he rocks harder than he has any right to, considering he took up with that bunch of asshats the Eagles. Surprised? Thought because I love 99.9% of the 70s that I also loved the Eagles? Nope. Most of their songs make me want to gnaw open a vein. I do make exceptions for a handful of their songs, including this one, but mostly because it’s Joe Walsh and partly because it reminds me of my mother and her sisters.

Anyway, I digress. Joe Walsh is good, he did most of his best work with the James Gang, and when the James Gang’s good, they’re very good, blah blah blah. The James Gang speaks for itself.

Funk No. 49
How funky indeed. How three people can make this much noise is beyond me (but I do have a theory that bands with only three members tend to rock harder, just to make up for their small size). This song compels me to shake my ass. Between the cowbells or whatever that is and the hyena noises at the break, it just moves me. Can’t help it. Excellent road song, btw, if you can keep from dancing while driving.

Funk No. 48
An age old question – did the funk need a 49th iteration to truly rock, or was the 48th funky enough? We may never know. You can shake your ass to this one, too. It has all those jerky little breaks that were perfected on the 49th version, with the addition of a thumping bass. Is it just me, or does Joe Walsh sound like someone’s punched half his teeth out? Does it matter?

Woman
Poor old Joe Walsh. If these songs are any indication, his batting average could use improvement. He tends to attract the kind that, as they say around here, “you better get a biting dog for.”

Shallow women, tsk tsk. Look past the fact that Joe looks like ten miles of bad road, has the diction of an ape, and went to the dark side by joining the asshat brigade. Listen to the guitar, women, and listen hard. If a man can do that to a guitar…. yeah, I know. That’s bullshit.

Enjoy the James Gang. Stick around for previews from next time’s episode, titled – “Why are all the bands from Georgia so ugly, yet rock so freaking hard?”

4 Comments

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4 responses to “Funk Only a Mother Could Love

  1. Pingback: Three Man Band - Traffic « Rag Mama Rag

  2. dkpresents

    Nice post. I particularly enjoyed the part where you called the Eagles ‘asshats’ – well done!

  3. J.R. Clark

    Joe Walsh was one of those guys you wanted in your band because no matter how fucked up you were and how much dope you were taking, you could look over at Joe and say to yourself, “At least I’m not as bad as Joe is.”

    The rock lifestyle really is unfair, you know. Davy Jones dead, while Keith Richards and Joe Walsh live.

    • THIS. Stevie Nicks famously (fatuously?) claims that Joe Walsh was the love of her life, then basically says they were so fucked up they couldn’t have survived together. Poor old Davy Jones, bless his heart…

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